Share Our Site

Facebook Twitter manta Linked In 

 

1430 Wilkins Circle
Casper, WY 82601

Phone: 307-237-9583
Fax: 307-265-7277

Carf Accredited


powered by centersite dot net
Depression: Major Depression & Unipolar Varieties
Resources
Basic Information
Introduction and Types of DepressionRelated Disorders / ConditionsHistorical and Current UnderstandingsBiology, Psychology and SociologyTreatment - Medication and PsychotherapyAlternative Medicine and Self-Help ResourcesSpecial IssuesReferences
More InformationTestsLatest NewsQuestions and Answers
Husband Sexting With a Mutual FriendSexFearWhy do I Have These Mood Swings?Violent When DrunkAngry All The TimeEating Disorder or Overreacting?What Is Wrong With Me ?Classify My Mental DisorderOCD, DepressionI'm Going Crazy?Please Help. I Criticize Myself Too Much and I Need to Stop. Trying to ForgetWhat's Wrong With Me?How to Overcome Depression Caused when Boyfriend Ditched Me?New Boyfriend Lying About Belongings That Are His Ex Girlfriend'sHow to Help my Delusional Son?Is Any of This Real?What is This, and What do I do About it?I Have Everything I Ever Wanted. Why am I so Miserable?How Can I Convince My Suicidal MD Husband To Be Evaluated?Sexual Abuse, What Should I do Now?Bipolar or Depressed or Neither?DepressionFeel Like Something's WrongToo Much SorrowVery EmptyReally Desperate..Please HelpMy Health?DepressionBipolar, Depression, Grief & AnxietyIs This a Flashback?Help Us With Our Son!No Clue What To Do. Help?Am I Going Crazy?Do I Suffer From Depression?Why Is He Doing This To Me?Am I Commitment-Phobic?I Don't Care For Anything, I Feel as Though I'm Wasting my Life.Anxiety Has Taken Over My Life...Not Able to be Happy With my HusbandHow Do I Get My 24 Year Old Son To A CounselorBipolar TeenI Have This IssueAm I Depressed?Fear of ChokingHelpIn Love With a Man Who Does Not Love MeI Think I Have a Mental Disorder?Stress and Loss of Feeling or Emotional DeadnessPlease Help MeOCD or Not OCD, That's The QuestionHow Can I Move Past This- A Question for StaffDoes Romance Lead to Aggression?Am I Depressed?Depressed, Anxious and Dead Inside...Please Help!BrokenWhy do I Feel Like Everyone is Trying to Upset me?My Husbands Roller Coaster of Proper Hygiene: Is it Depression?I Feel Like a Complete Waste of a Human LifeAm I Always Going to Feel Like This?Is He Changed???I Can't Stop CryingHopelessAnxious and Depressed SonIs There Any Hope For Me, or am I Destined to be Damaged?Falling ApartIs There Such a Thing as Happiness? JoylessWorrying Too Much About Anything.Helping and Watching a Friend's Recurrent Depression?Homesick and Feeling Stuck.Insanely Jealous HusbandPOCDCan Prescription Drug Use Lead to Delusional Beharior? Social Anxiety, Depression and More...SadSame Views On So Much, but Can't Get Along As A CoupleSuicidal ThoughtsHypothyroid 23 Year Old GirlIt's Me or It's My Mother?Is He a Narcissist?Help For Aging Human Service Professionals?DepressionIf There's Nothing New, There's Nothing Good.Please Respond, I Need Help Need To Ask SomeoneIs it Okay to Give Up?I'm Cheated By My Girlfriend..... I Just Want to Die.....How Can It Help?Everyone Says He is depressed, Is He? Or Does He Really Want a Divorce??Help! Please!I Think I Need Some HelpI Feel So Lost.Scared and LonelyPlease Help Me OutHow Much Should a Therapist Care or Reach Out?I Never Experience Happiness Mystery SymptomsI Think I'm DepressedBorn to Lose, or Nurtured to Lose?Help!Quadruple Bypass SurgeryAdviceI am an 18 Year Old Mom Diagnosed With Severe Depression And AnxietyExtremely Scared: I Felt Indifferent Toward an ObsessionSuffering with Treatment-Resistant DepressionMy Fiance May Have a Sexual, Nude Photo AddictionInfections and The BrainMy Girlfriend's Family Is Ruining Our RelationshipWorthlessI Need Help And Am At The End of My RopeHow Can I Cope With My Husband´s Depression and Its Sexual Consequences?What Is The Difference Between Mental Illness and Depression?Am I Over Thinking This, or Am I Right?AngerDo I Need Help?What Is It?Why Am I Thinking Like This?Why Does My Mother Hoard Everything, Including Garbage?Right in the middle of a nervous breakdown; What's wrong with me? Huge Disapointment With My HusbandI Don't Really Care About Anything. What Should I Do?Is Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Curable? Is it Really a Problem?I am Terrified of Death. AnhedoniaDetached: I Feel Guilty, But I Can't Help it.My Father, The Sociopath...I Feel Like a Question MarkAm I Not Normal!?Our 23 Year Old Son Refuses to Get Help for His Anxiety Attacks and Depression. What is Wrong? Husband Abandoned MeD.I.D. Diagnosis, How do I Accept This?I Don't Know Anymore. Please Help.Breaking up With Bipolar Depression - Blacking OutHe's Distant. Is he Leaving me?My Boyfriend Saved Pictures of his Ex-Girlfriend on His Computer.Restroom PhobiaWhat Is Wrong with Me?Should I Seek Help?When to Leave Therapy?Help Me Please. What is Going On With Me?I'm Afraid I'm Going CrazyI Don't Know What To DoAm I Wallowing in Depression?AngerSexual Abuse and Its Effects on Relationships AfterwardsWhat Is Wrong with Me, Doc? HelpDBSAm I Suffering a Kind of Psychological Problem?Attention Deficit and DepressionDo I Have an Eating Disorder?Do you think I sound depressed? I don't understand what is going on Is This Bi Polar?Depressed 19 year old college studentThoughtsDepression helps to contribute to my unemployment! - Paula Will I ever feel normal?I feel like I am going crazyWhat is wrong with me?I'm ScaredWhat Is Wrong with Me?Cyclical DepressionFrightening thoughts - fear losing control - please help!Anxious, depressed, confused, angry....the typical...Giving Up - Dad of three - Sep 15th 2008Counting ritual - Zami - Aug 30th 2008dont understand meExercising violence in dreamsSwallowing fear My husband wants to leave me Is there help for a person who has always been a 'little depressed'Depression TreatmentPlease help. Lovely, however... - Julie C. - Jul 14th 2008I am really worried about my mental health (19yr old female)Am I depressed?Identity Confusion: I don't know what personality disorders I haveDo I Have Bipolar Dsorder?Is there something wrong with me?Will I Ever? Worried about my sonIs There Help Out There? Lonely Mother of ThreeAm I Depressed?Help?Major Depressive Disorder Severe with Psychotic FeaturesOCD- No feelingHelp!!!: LaciIs the memory of my father dooming my relationship?Worried about thoughtsHow long will i be on medication for treatment of my depressionMy Mother Won't Go For Depression Treatment!Where do i start to get on the road to recoveryWhat is wrong with me?Stuck in an on-again, off-again relationship for 10 yearsDepression TreatmentHow do I get my dr.s to understand and help me?STUCK IN A RUTWhat treatments are available after you've tried the medicines of last resort?no one will help!Should I seek help?A fighting coupleDo I have a mental health problem?Whats wrong with me?depression and employmenthow do you treat depression in teenager males?Is it ok to feel this way?Have DID: Getting Worse Not BetterCan we contact my mother's doctor?anxiety or going crazy?ADD, Tourettes or both?DepressedI think i'm lost?Don't want to take medsWill this ever endGet SupportedStages of DepressionIs there any help?Can you help?Dark FantasiesBlood testsIs it illusion or truth?should a depressed person marry?Dementia and DepressionAnger?What type of exams can proven that a person has bipolar disorder?Stuck in a mental rut...Loss of Patiencei can't seem to get over any of thisIntrusive humiliating memoriesIs there some way to deal with depression without meds?losing personality wholnessWhat is the point of life?No change is normal mood (e.g., Depression)Lack of Personal HygieneDiagnosing DepressionDoes untreated depression pass on to a fetus?A Request for HelpRegular thoughts of killing myselfHow do I help my depressed, unemployed motherAngry at my doctor for prescribing so carelesslyI become very hostile towards myselfComing to Terms With My Own Pathetic ExistenceDo environmental factors hold a person back?Tired of this DepressionStruggling With Feelings And ThoughtsGreatly DepressedIs Depression Getting More Prevalent?An Empty ShellHelping My HusbandInability To Express MyselfNon-medication Help For DepressionSuicidalSick Of Feeling This WayUntrusting PatientDepressed and Not DatingCongenital LazinessMoody BoyfriendElectroconvulsive TherapyDesperateFrustrated and Sucked DryToo Young For MedsDepressed HusbandParanoid DepressionSelf-Harming Attention SeekerDid My Parents Make Me Like This?Wild Mood SwingsA Wonderful ManHow Can I Become Less Depressed?18, Sad and HopelessShould I Continue With Therapy?Childhood DepressionCan I Help My Wife With Depression?Prozac QuestionsApproaching My Tightly Wound Depressed Attorney BrotherBrain Injury and DepressionNo Compassion For DepressionRecurrent DepressionMeds Don't Seem To Work So Now What?Pleasure-blindDo People Recover From Depression?Shy DancerCrying Is BehaviorMed ConsultFeeling Depressed and InsecureShyness And The Post Partum BluesThe Aftermath of AbuseDo I Tell My Children I'm Depressed?Now What?Medicine Doesn't Work AnymoreDepressedThe First TimeDepressed BoyfriendHow Do I Leave?Potentially Suicidal BoyfriendAlternative TreatmentBereavement and GriefParanoid DadDepression Affects The Entire FamilyHow Can I Stop Depression From Recurring?Crohn's Disorder Side EffectsIs Paranoia A Destiny?Post-Drinking DepressionSecurity Clearance and DepressionCan I Inherit Depression?Two CliniciansDepressed SpouseDepression 101Hypnosis?Controlling, Disabled HusbandAre These Just Mood SwingsDrifting Apart?Drinking. . .A Mother Struggles with DepressionMarijuana and DepressionOverburdened MomTrashed HouseBeautiful DreamerPMS WoesSeverely DepressedMiss LonelyUnhappy and In TherapyHe Won't Tell Me Why...LonelyDepression Affecting My RelationshipLonesomeMy Children Aren't Speaking..My Wife is DepressedMy Boyfriend Is DepressedParlante writes:
VideosLinksBook Reviews
Related Topics

Anxiety Disorders
Bipolar Disorder
Suicide
Addictions: Alcohol and Substance Abuse
Pain Management

Ask Dr. SchwartzAsk Dr. Schwartz:
Psychotherapy and Mental Health questions

Everyone Says He is depressed, Is He? Or Does He Really Want a Divorce??

Sun, Jan 16th 2011

I have been with my husband for 9 years and married for 4. We have 3 children. Three months ago he left, stating we were over. He is 35, I am years old. I always thought our relationship was great, and did everyone. Ours was the type of relationship that, when people saw us, they knew we were in love. Not because we were all over each other, but for the connection we had. We were best friends, soul mates.

On the day he left and declared we were over. Naturally I was shocked and asked him if he wanted a divorce as I was confused?? He immediately said, "No!" I explained that if he didn't want to be with me anymore and as was strongly saying so, we would in the future have to get divorced. His sulky reply was, "I suppose we will get divorced then!"

I have been confused as he played loving husband right up until he left, even whisking me upstairs on several occasions days before he left. I asked why he did this and he replied he was trying to make the marriage work. However, he won't communicate and I had no idea. He regrets not telling me, but feels it's too late now. Since that day he has not changed his mind. He had a loving wife, three lovely children, a house and etc. He won't work at the marriage and will not talk about it.

I'm sure there isn't another woman although I can't be 100% sure. He says he loves me and always will, finds me sexually attractive, I'm a good wife mother etc. But he sees me as a best friend and not his wife. He feels the spark has gone.

I have tried everything to save the marriage, but he won't budge at all, and will not try  and get the spark back. I'm confused how he can throw it all away? I have asked how long he felt like this before he left and he said two months. Two months to me doesn't seem long enough to decide to end a marriage.

The romance has dissipated a bit, what with having young 3 kids and both of us working, but he isn't romantic or sexual, really. I have usually started things going and suggested stuff to excite things, while he was always a bit prudish and shy. I have never denied him or made him feel unloved. We always kiss each other everyday, hugged, wrote notes, etc.

The only problem we did have that was a constant niggle for him was money and his job. He did love his job, but, now that he is in management and has more stress, he hates it. He feels trapped there because it pays well and he has felt this way for a very time. He has suffered from work related stress and our MD has signed him off from work before because of it. He is always fed up with only having enough money to pay bills and nothing to play with. He is never happy come pay day, and is on a constant downer.

I could be wrong but it seems like he has got so down, that to escape it all he feels he needs to literally escape everything and start again. He wants to sell the house and pay off debts through the divorce.

I have already filed for divorce. However, it has been thee months of him saying he loves me but isn't in-love. He won't go to counseling, won't talk and won't do anything, not even for the kids sake. He won't try just to say he has tried. He is 100% sure and hasn't any doubts!

I cannot believe this. This isn't the man I married. He is just so cold that he doesn't seem to even care about the kids!! He has literally walked away and not looked back.

Am I delusional?? Is he perfectly sane or could he be depressed? I just hope he is sure this is what he truly wants because I do love him still and would hate for him to regret this later when it is too late, Divorce isn't really going to improve things.

THE ANSWER TO THIS QUESTION WILL NOT BE DISPLAYED UNTIL YOU HAVE INDICATED YOUR AGREEMENT WITH THE DISCLAIMER PRINTED JUST BELOW. CLICK THE 'I AGREE' BUTTON TO AGREE TO THESE TERMS AND SEE THE RESPONSE.

Disclaimer

  • Dr. Schwartz responds to questions about psychotherapy and mental health problems, from the perspective of his training in clinical psychology.
  • Dr. Schwartz intends his responses to provide general educational information to the readership of this website; answers should not be understood to be specific advice intended for any particular individual(s).
  • Questions submitted to this column are not guaranteed to receive responses.
  • No correspondence takes place.
  • No ongoing relationship of any sort (including but not limited to any form of professional relationship) is implied or offered by Dr. Schwartz to people submitting questions.
  • Dr. Schwartz, Mental Help Net and CenterSite, LLC make no warranties, express or implied, about the information presented in this column. Dr. Schwartz and Mental Help Net disclaim any and all merchantability or warranty of fitness for a particular purpose or liability in connection with the use or misuse of this service.
  • Always consult with your psychotherapist, physician, or psychiatrist first before changing any aspect of your treatment regimen. Do not stop your medication or change the dose of your medication without first consulting with your physician.